Uncle needed a ride to his post-op appointment but I had an important meeting to attend at work. Fortunately my husband was off and said he’d drive him. Rather than secretly think about how I wanted things to work out, I decided to speak up and tell my husband that I’d like him to wait during the appointment and bring my Uncle back home.
YES! He said he’d do the round trip. He chose to help me and the family over his project.
I decided to pick up lunch as a treat. Well, my husband didn’t read his text message properly and assumed that I was saying we’d all eat lunch together. Ugh, I thought. I have work to do, calls to make for the church, donations to organize for the homeless ministry and today is my last day of vacation. Why does he always make these assumptions?
That’s when, in my mind, I saw my Uncle sitting alone eating lunch and I realized he probably wasn’t going anywhere for a couple of days – so he’d be home alone. I bet my husband thought I planned for us to have lunch together to keep Uncle company. I regret, I wasn’t being that thoughtful today.
Then I noticed that when our renovation project started, I observed my husband being too focused on the project and less so what was going on around him. That’s no longer the case. He made time to take us to dinner and hang out with our daughter. And now, for the past two days, he’s made time for my Uncle, which by extension is also helping me.
All I can say is thank GOD for this revelation because I was irritated with my husband. My natural reaction was to feel like he inconvenienced me and it was his fault that I gave him my last $20 and had to stop at the ATM, was now caught in the rain picking up the food, and had to make an extra stop for drinks. It was his fault I was painfully aware of the time and it ticking away.
What an icky place to be. Whew! It was only for a moment and then I came back to “As you may be aware, people who constantly react are never really free. Someone else is always in control, determining how they will feel and behave.” (Love Life for Every Married Couple)
Marriage – any relationship for that matter – takes work.