I’ve been guilty of analyzing situations and people. In other words, I’ve been guilty of judging – many times over. We’re not born with a judgment button that gets turned out. We learn to judge by observing our family, friends and those around us. What we see on TV probably helps promote it, too.
Sometimes when judgment is passed, humor is found – at someone else’s expense. Other times judgment feeds pride because credit is given to self for knowing better and being better than the next. Judgment can also result in pity or sorrow because the “judge” feels like the other person is missing out on something, being wronged/hurt or too ignorant to even realize what’s going on.
Our judgment is justified because sufficient analysis has been performed; various angles have been considered and scenarios contemplated. Knowledge gained from personal experiences, books and seminars have been applied. Obviously we know better than the person we’re judging – or anyone else for that matter.
I know it’s common to judge and have opinions, but I was floored when I heard someone frown upon a friend for electing not to openly share the status of his loved one’s health or his feelings about it. The “judge” was actually upset that he wasn’t looped in about this personal matter and couldn’t seem to grasp that the decision wasn’t personal. His friend was simply dealing with things in the best way he knows how and in a way that allows him to live versus remaining stuck in a rut because he was focused on the circumstance he was faced with.
Hanging out with like-minded people, probably means you’re living in the dark. You may never know you’re guilty of judging and that judging is not okay. It takes a good, hard look in the mirror to recognize that fault – or a really good friend to point it out. One way to tell that you’ve appointed yourself “judge” is to consider what’s coming out of your mouth. If you’re frequently talking about other people and it’s not praise, it’s likely you’ve got judging going on. If you find yourself irritated by other people, look around for the gavel you’ve been wielding.
Words speak life and death.